Happy new year everyone!

I hope 2008 is a great one for everyone, i'm so excited to see what 08 has in store for me, it has to be a good one cos 07 was definitely one of the worst ones ever!

It's started off well, I have a new boyfriend who i'm absolutely crazy about, i just hope it stays this good!! <3

2007 is going to go down as an extremely memorable year for me, not really for good things either.

I just want this year over with to be honest.

Today was just unbelievable.

I have 2 brothers and a sister =|

I have considered myself an only child for my entire 24.5  years so this is a massive massive shock.

I've always considered the fact I may have siblings out there somewhere as I don't know my real father, but today I found out that I definitely do. I don't know anything about my brothers as my real father - David went through a messy divorce with their mum and has no contact with them.

However my sister (half sister? Whatever) is 16, she's called Amy and she's been told all about me and really really wants to meet me.

Im finding this all SO weird.

It's awesome because i've always wanted a little sister. Having a sibling would be amazing. I just feel excited about it.

BUT it's bad because David wants to see me too...I don't think I want to see him. Y'know, he's never been there for me my entire life, my stepdad is the one who's always been there for me and I consider him to be my Daddy :) We're super close and if I were to go meet David it would break his heart (he's told me a few times when drunk that his biggest fear is me going to find David and then not needing him anymore, this would NEVER EVER happen, Cormac - stepdad, is my world, I adore him and i'm such a daddy's girl haha!) And I wouldn't want to hurt him in any way.

I'm going to tell him about all this and see what he says. 

This all came about from getting back in touch with my Aunty Kay (David's sister) she let him know I was back in touch with her and he's now decided he wants to see me. 

I'm dying to see Kay,  it's been about 13 years and she was always the most amazing woman, i loved her so much so seeing her again would be great! And she has a little boy now, I don't know how to spell his name lol, but it's pronounced 'ee-lie' it might be spelt similar, idk. She lives up in Scotland now so I might go up and see her or she's going to try and come down to my Mum's place in Cornwall and i'll go there and see her.

I think my plan is as follows:
Explain all to my stepdad.
Speak to Kay.
Arrange to see her and the baby sometime.
Talk to her about my sister.
Then take it from there.
=/

I've spent the past few days thinking about this past year, particularly about my abortion and I actually wonder if I really did the wrong thing.
All this family business is just making me think about it all the more and it's just upsetting me a lot.
I know I can't change it but it's really getting to me.

I need a break. I need to go to my mum's and just spend some time talking with her, I just can't stop crying at the moment. I'm aiming to get down there in November for a few days, it's so peaceful there.

Oh and i'm moving house on Wednesday, found a place in Tottenham.

Life is so fucking stressful at the moment. I just need everything to stop a while but it's not going to happen.

Scuse the emo post.

Haha this has had me and several friends in bits, fruitloop lol



Saw Superbad last night!! ohmygodfunniestfilmever!!

"my back is on my cock"
&
"I got a boner!"

Just 2 lines that had me in stitches, seriously Alexa and I were howling and crying with laughter lmfao, go see it! It's so a boy film but it's funny as.

 

I haven't cut in ten months and have rarely felt the urge, despite the events of the summer when, if it were to happen it would have happened.
For this I am very proud of myself and threw away my blades last night.
: )

Faithlesstonightfaithlesstonightfaithlesstonight!!
*explodes from overexcitement*

And when I hear this played live on Monday i might go a bit crazy <3



Tuuuuuuuuuuuune! Quite :)

Takes me back to the Friday nights of Peach at The Camden Palace (Now KOKO) and getting fucked up on pills and dancing like a fool every week hahaha them were the days!

Can I rewind to this exact moment please?



Life was actually pretty fucking amazing at that exact moment <3

Just watching that takes me right back, to where I was standing, how amazing I felt to be a part of that, how happy and carefree I felt at that moment. It gives me goosebumps watching it. I love it.

Oh oh and I forgot, Saw 4?!?!

I didn't know they were making it!! It best be as good as the others and not just cashing in on the name...I mean, Jigsaw and Amanda are dead....so how are they gonna do it? I dunno....but it best be damn good, that's all I have to say...I've seen a clip, it looks interesting...

October 26th it's out, cinema trip anyone?

Yay for immense amounts of gigs coming up =D 
- August 17th, ARCH ENEMY @ The Camden Barfly (WOOHOO!!)
- August 21st, The Living End @ The Electric Ballroom in Camden
- August 22nd, DECAYDANCE FEST !!!!!! @ The Hammersmith Apollo (fall out boy AND gym class heroes AND panic at the fucking disco, hell yeah! Excuse my inner emo showing itself lol)
- September 10th, Faithless @ The Shepherds Bush Empire (I am so excited about this! I've loved them for years but never got to see them!)
- September 18th, Hell On Earth tour!! Walls Of Jericho, All Shall Perish, Born From Pain!! @ The Islington Academy (eeeeeeee WOJ! EEEEEEEEEE!!!! ASP!! ASP are just amazingness, they supported Bleeding Through back in Feb)
- December 5th, The one & only MARILYN MANSON @ Wembley Arena (My 3rd time seeing him <3)
- December 6th, HATEBREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!! @ The Kentish Town Forum (Ohhh yes, about the millionth time i'll have seen them but they always fucking rule live & they make me feel all RARGH, yes that is a way of feeling! And yeah, cannot waaaaait!)



Those are the ones I have tickets for currently, there's loooads of others I want to go to but have to see how my funds are and all that.

Anyone going to any of those? If so I shall most likely be seeing you there! At the moment I am going to the Hell On Earth tour on my lonesome....and i'm a lil scared haha, anyone wanna come with? It'll be fun! I promise!